Forgiveness-A necessity but oh so difficult!

Written by- Gauri Sabharwal

---

All of us have been left hurt or disappointed by our loved ones at some point or the other. Such incidents leave us with feelings of anger, revenge, anxiety and everything hostile.

However, my dear, if you don’t employ forgiveness in your life, the most harmed person will be YOU!

YES! You are planning on an act of revenge from the person who hurt you, but the process will leave you most affected of all. Now, you surely don’t want that. Do you?

Keep reading, and you will know how you can achieve peace and well-being!

What is forgiveness?

It is letting go of all the rage and revenge thoughts you have for the other person. It involves showing empathy, compassion to the person and not focusing on how wrong they are. It indeed looks like an impossible task. But we plan on achieving that with ‘one step at a time!’

Both forgiveness and revenge are social instincts that solved problems for ancestral humans. These are fixed aspects of human nature, but these capacities can be altered, which gives us hope that we can make the world more forgiving and less revengeful (MC Cullough, 2008).

According to Dr Tyler Vande Weelee, co-director of initiative on health, religion and spirituality at Harvard, a way to be comfortable with forgiveness is to practice small acts every day. For, e.g. -: If someone is rude or cuts you off in traffic, know that it wasn’t directed personally to you, forgive him on the spot. This will stop the adverse reactions and the feelings that come with it.

Remember, if you can forgive, then you are the strongest person out there.

Now here are some ways in which you can achieve that:

⁃ Engage in self-reflection and think about how you reacted, how you felt, how the anger has affected you.

⁃ Forgive yourself; know that what the other person did had nothing to do with you.

⁃ See the brighter side of the situation you are in, how can you make most of it. After all, everything happens for a reason.

⁃ Acknowledge every emotion and when you are ready, leave the baggage behind and look forward. There is a life ahead of you that requires your effort and attention.

⁃ Remember, it’s okay if you are not able to do it on your own. You can seek help, and it does not mean something is wrong with you.

I know, all of it is easier said than done. The ones who hurt you will move on with their lives, leaving you in a tough spot. Forgiving will take you out of it, and it is for your own good!

Maybe they do or don’t deserve the forgiveness, but you deserve the best.

You are strong, and this too shall pass!

I believe in you!