Written by: Saniya Bedi
A student counsellor at a boys school was not what I thought would be my first job!
‘You are tiny, will you be able to handle the boys?’-I was asked. ‘I’d like to think that.’-I answered.
Five months into this, I was loving it. I realised that I certainly can ‘handle’ the boys-I mean why make a big deal out of the gender? They respected me and that’s all I wanted!
Now, there are always a few students who are so to say, ‘handed over’ to the new counsellor. Teachers and parents often introduce these students as “They don’t listen to anyone, they went to the previous counsellor and were okay for sometime. Now have started to misbehave again!” Does anyone ask ‘why’ these children do what they do? Does anyone focus on whether they were ‘really’ at fault? Well, the institutions look for evidence-not these children’s best friend for sure!
As a psychologist, I have always felt that this profession makes you help those whom others usually don’t understand or trust to change. We are blessed to have an opportunity to understand the other side of the coin!
Nitin* was one of the known naughty students of his class. He would often be caught in fights. At least one visit per week to the Principal’s office had become a ritual for him! He was ‘handed over’ to me with the same script as mentioned before. He was angry when he met me. The moment his teacher left, he looked at me angrily and said, “Maine kuch nahi kiya ma’am-aap maano ya na maano.” (I haven’t done anything, you believe it or not) I looked at him and just said this, “I trust you.” Eyes welled up and he broke down. While crying, he continued to ask me three-four times, “You really trust me?”, my answer remaining the same, “yes”.
We entered a therapeutic relationship post that and he showed immense improvement. However, the most important lesson that he taught me was that I am blessed as a psychologist. I have the chance to help people redeem themselves. I am privileged to be trusted by others. I can instil trust in people who are neither trusted or in some cases, do not trust themselves. I can change lives and I should never take that for granted! Thanks, Nitin*!